I was talking to my online friend last night. Well he is more of a brother now after years of trying to entice me to be his love slave went haywired. Hahaha. And now, to compensate for that, all he does is to nag me all the times. What a nag he is. I eat lekor for days, he nags, I stay at home for days, he nags, I breathe, he nags.... well you got the point there.
But I guess in some way, I need some slap in the face honesty sometimes. Oftimes, we think we are always the victim, we are the one who suffers the most, sacrifice the most, yada, yada, yada... (but We do!)
He knows what's going on in most of my relationships and my life, we went through the fun, the ordeals and some of the errr how shall i say this delicately, errr i guess we leave it at that. The point is he knows me. The real me. The me who put so much bravado to the whole world while at the same times he knows I am cringing with fears and lack of confidence inside. He knows my secret fear, he knows my weaknesses and he knows my strength. It scares me that he can know me so well.
So, last night, we got talking. He said things that I have been to scare to admit. I knew it but I just refuse to face it. I guess I finally did last night.
His advice - Detour! Detour from the usual path, the usual thinking, the usual self-pity etc. It is about making a detour and enjoying a different self realisation. I admit I have been cruel. I was not a victim all the times. It is me that has to change my perspective and outlook on life and people in general. I have to do this, not just to myself but those who confessed to love me. Maybe they do honestly love me.
Thanks Joe!
Much love
Private World.
